Where have I been?

I just looked at the date of my last post and its from MAY. OMG where have I been? I have been crocheting and working on some quilting but just haven't posted about it due to a lack of photos. It's also been a hectic year with work so much so that I asked to go part time next year, that was until....

 

 Yep this little person came along. Within a week of missing my period my anxiety panic disorder came back full blast sending me to the emergency room begging for my old medication. (damn hormones!) It took 6 weeks for the medication to completely kick in and in the mean time I packed up my husband and rabbits and moved back to my parents for extra help. I had no energy for doing house work, cooking etc, and lost all interest in things including my husband. It was such a scary experience constantly having hideous thoughts that my baby will be deformed, will die, will have 5 limbs etc etc.Work was a nightmare, I tried to go in a few times but totally freaked out and was very anxious for the whole day, adrenalin running through my veins and causing my whole body to be in pain. Even my uterus was killing me and that's when I thought I have to take time off this can't be healthy for the baby or myself.

And so I've taken the rest of the year off and after 6 weeks school holidays I will go back as a casual relief teacher, filling in when I feel ok. I am seeing a psychiatrist and psycologist as well as my midwife and doctor so I'm in pretty good hands at the moment. It's taking me some time getting used to being a 'house wife'. I've never not worked or studied. I felt very guilty at the start but my husband said it was the best decision I could make and that he is happy that he can go to work now and know I'm safe at home or hanging out at mums or friends. He just wants a healthy wife and baby and work can wait! 

 

Ironically  now that I have time on my hands I have NOOOOOOOO energy or interest in crocheting or crafting. I'm told that your energy levels come back after the first trimesters finished so I'm very much hoping that that's true! I have so many things I want to make. Mum and I went to the yarn store the other day and mum bought a great baby knit book heaps of awesome patterns and some yarn. She's already finished one little sweater. 

Anyhow hopefully now that I'm at home I will post more but I seem to always say that, hope this time I stick to it! 

Merry Christmas to everyone if I don't post by then and I hope you have a lovely festive time!